Once a lot of grown-up girls organized a club for the discussion of current evils. The principal current evil they discussed was man. The object was to find some way to keep them home at nights. One dame thought every wife ought to provide her companion with an intellectual atmosphere so he wouldn't sneak out at night to the thirst parlor.
The Busy Business Boy lands at his desk like the Early Bird with the intention of tearing off a week or two of correspondence in an hour or so. But the Napoleon of finance reckons not with the Man with the Funny Puzzle, the Fruit Vender, the Insurance Agent with the Flowing Vocabulary, and last, but not least, with Rube.
A very young Joan Bennett tops the cast as Nan Sheffield, the daughter of a college president. The nominal leading man is Tommy Nelson, the black-sheep son of a wealthy alumnus. Though Nelson is an ace football player, President Sheffield refuses to enroll the boy because of his bad reputation, whereupon Tommy's father withdraws his financial backing and bars his son from ever setting foot on Sheffield's campus. Falling in love with Nan, Tommy signs up with the college under an assumed name, giving up his wastrel ways to lead the football team to victory. Joe E. Brown steals the show as Speed Hanson, a goofy gridiron star who emits a loud and long yell whenever scoring a touchdown (this was, in fact, the first film in which Brown's famous "Yeeeeowww" was heard -- but certainly not the last).
Clara was no longer a Spring Chicken, and when she passed the Thirty Mark, she began to worry for fear that she could never Rope In a Bread Earner, so she got busy. There was one chap in particular who looked awfully good to her, but the younger girls were hot on his trail, and did their utmost to keep Clara out of his way. Finally Clara got rid of her competitors in the Man Hunt when they all went to a summer resort. She was surrounded by Suitors, and Mr. Gibbs was very much in evidence. The afternoons that followed were a repetition of the first day, while the girls up at the lake were making a fuss over some little Freshman.
Kate had a very devoted beau known as George. George loved the girl so hard that he loved all her relatives. He thought it his duty to give three hearty cheers for Father and Mother, and likewise he worked for a stand-in with Tom, her husky brother. His gushing affections for Kate slopped over on Sister Lil, and this caused Kate to sit up and take notice. He went shopping with mother and carried everything she purchased. She was peeved but George thought he was making a great hit. Next day he tried to cultivate the big athletic brother, but found his Waterloo.
Buchanan Bartlett, shiftless son of Hiram Bartlett, farmer retired, is sent to college to learn things. Father becomes peeved when he receives a bill of expenditures a month later from his son, amounting to two hundred and fifty dollars. The old man decides to investigate things, and the following day finds him at the university.
Lemuel Morehouse, the owner of a profitable meatpacking company in Chicago, bemoans the fact that neither of his two sons have the time nor inclination to eat with him. Billy is obsessed with culture, while Tom is a physical fitness nut. At the office, Lemuel is exasperated when Billy arrives for work at four in the afternoon and cannot stay because of a party he is giving that night to unveil a statue he bought for $20,000. Lemuel then finds Tom meeting with his golf committee rather than working. When the boys argue that business is only a means to an end, and that happiness and enjoyment of life are desired goals, Lemuel counters their contentions by declaring that what they really need are wives and tells them that Dorothy and Rose Gregson, the daughters of an old friend, will soon be visiting.
Aggie has survived the measles, mumps and scarlet rash, so when she brought home the high school diploma her parents thought she was a young lady now and couldn't catch anything more. That very fall she had a severe attack of photomania. She had the old folks posing for pictures half the time, and when she developed them you could almost tell which was which.
Gloom overcasts the palace of Count Selim Nalagaski, governor general of Morovenia, Turkey. All efforts to make the count's elder daughter, the Princess Kalora, fat, synonymous with beauty in that country, have failed. Popova, the Princess's tutor, devises a terrible revenge because the count called him a Christian dog. He feeds the princess pickles to keep her thin.
The Fable of the Brash Drummer and the Nectarine
The Fable of the Kid Who Shifted His Ideals to Golf and Finally Became a Baseball Fan and Took the Only Known Cure is a 1916 American short comedy silent film pertaining to baseball.
Having declared himself in on a jolly college dinner, Mr. Dubley, member of the class of '88, counted on having a Hot Old Time. Now at a College Dinner the main idea is to get a flying start. It was to be a Dry dinner, so most of the sons of Bohunkus were doing what a Camel does just before crossing a Desert. At 8:15 the Crowd was herded into the banquet hall. Dr. Dubley found himself marooned between two pious elders. The Oysters had been warming up since 6:30. Fortunately, the soup was not warm enough to scald the thumb of a willing longshoreman who had been brought in as an extra waiter.
The political bosses knew it was an off year and they needed a Goat to run for City Clerk. They didn't want a regular guy to get "stepped on," so they started out to find a Fish. They found a nice man who ran a feed store and had lots of coin, so they pounced on him. Mr. Bolivar was his name and he drank malted milk and said "whom" and did everything that was nice. They jollied him until he really thought that he was the man for the position, and when his wife tried to save the poor simp, he only said he must answer the call of duty, that the Peepul wanted him. He sometimes wondered if the other fellow would get any votes at all. Little by little the bosses were drawing on his bank account, and on the night of election he was broke. He lost the fight by 20,000 votes, and when he looked for his pushers, they had skipped.
A star rower is forced to join a good school under a pseudonym because his wealthy dad doesn't like schools that have high academic standards.
Based on George Ade's play which, in part, was based on an incident in a 1902 election in Wyoming, with women's-right-to-vote playing a large role. Here, Jim Hackler, local party-boss in a Wyoming county, has to decide to do what's right and lose the election, or what's wrong and win it.
Once there was a good-natured old Scout who opened a drug store on the corner with the intention of making money enough to buy bird seed once in a while. The first Gink who blew in wanted to know the correct time, and not a cent's worth did he buy. The next was one of those hurry-up guys who wanted a city directory and wanted to know if Murphy was spelled with an "F." Shortly after Estelle came in and wanted to wait for Laura. She was dying for a drink of plain water, she couldn't drink soda water because the gas got up her nose. Finally, when Laura came she bought a postage stamp, and not having any pennies, said she'd be in later to pay for it.
"Sure-thing" Steve and his pals searched the map for prospective country towns in which they could bunco the inhabitants. They decided the town of Simpville would fall for a fake auction sale.
He was too big for this world when a Phrenologist told him he was a modern Napoleon.
Kalora is the "slim princess of Morevana," a land in which fat is prized. This distresses her family, who must marry off Kalora, before her rotund younger sister Papova may wed. To remedy this situation, Kalora's father, the governor general, throws a garden party and disguises his slim daughter in an inflated rubber suit. All goes well until the suit ruptures, deflating Kalora to her normal size....