The perfect movie DOES exist! Doug and Carol travel to the port city of Milan, where they have to solve a series of murders committed by a masked slasher at an Italian Fertility Festival. And Soviet Spies. INTERPOL’s there, too.

1880s Australia: A psychic, lesbian schoolteacher teams up with the world's greatest adventurer to find her missing girlfriend and to defeat Dracula and his Golden Army of the Undead.

After a life-changing trip to China, a pastor gains the ability to transform into a velociraptor. With his newfound powers, he takes on the city's criminals and battles ninjas, the mafia, and even supernatural forces.